The All-Or-Nothing Marriage

Eli J. Finkel

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"The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work" is a book written by Eli J. Finkel, a social psychologist and professor at Northwestern University. Published in 2017, the book explores the evolving nature of marriage and relationships in contemporary society.

In "The All-or-Nothing Marriage," Eli J. Finkel presents the idea that marriages today are facing higher expectations and demands than ever before. He argues that people now seek not just companionship and economic partnership in marriage, but also emotional fulfillment, personal growth, and self-actualization. Finkel's research and analysis delve into several key themes:

The history of marriage: The book traces the evolution of marriage from earlier eras when it primarily served as an economic and social contract to the modern era where it is expected to fulfill deeper emotional and psychological needs.

The "suffocation model" vs. the "self-expansion model": Finkel introduces these two models to explain the dynamics of modern marriages. The suffocation model suggests that many marriages struggle due to unmet expectations, while the self-expansion model posits that successful marriages provide opportunities for personal growth and self-fulfillment.

Strategies for improving marriages: Finkel offers practical advice and strategies for couples to enhance their relationships, emphasizing the importance of investing time and effort into marriage to achieve the "all-or-nothing" ideal.

Research findings: The book draws on research in psychology and sociology to support its arguments, with a focus on the factors that contribute to marital satisfaction and longevity.

"The All-or-Nothing Marriage" is a thought-provoking book that examines the challenges and opportunities of modern marriage. It encourages couples to understand and address the changing dynamics of marital relationships, emphasizing the importance of ongoing effort and growth in maintaining a fulfilling partnership. If you're interested in the sociology of marriage and relationships, this book offers valuable insights and perspectives.